{3} Executive Dysfunction and why labels matter.

Please don’t call it “laziness”.

#feels.

I had a conversation with my mom the other day about how part of the difficulty of living alone is motivating myself to do stuff. Sometimes it’s normal, like, damn I don’t want to do the dishes. But sometimes it’s like…I really want to go to sleep but I have to pee and I can’t motivate myself to get up but I really need to pee. And I was kind of idly wondering if it was a form of executive dysfunction. And I could almost hear her roll her eyes over the phone and she just sighed, “Kim,” she said, “you’re just lazy.”

Oh man, does my skin just want to run away screaming when I get called lazy.

I’m not even saying I’m not, I just…I guess I don’t think of myself that way?

Because really, what it is, is inertia. It’s so hard for me to leave work. I will stay and wait until the last person leaves even if I’ve been off for a half hour or more, and the reason is simply because the thought of leaving causes this weird ripple of anxiety.

Weird, right?

Similarly (and probably far more relatable), it’s incredibly difficult for me to get up in the morning. I mean, I might be awake. But physically getting up is really, really difficult.